...........................!!

Each time I think it can't get worse,
that I've become numb and free from the curse,
But each time you prove me wrong,
and throw me farther... showing me where I belong.

Every time I think it's enough that I've cried,
the wound that run deep has probably dried,
But then with something or the other you keep digging deep
slicing my heart further into a heap.

What have I done to get this from you,

I always tried to do what you wanted me to,

loved you truly with all I had,

Just to have you by my side, I was glad.

Falling apart,
They said I was foolish and this feeling is unreal,
that one day I will realize- my life is surreal.
In a way, some moments of weakness, that did come true,
a couple of times, I did hate myself for loving you!

They said,

Distance makes the heart grow fonder and that time heals all,

Every moment I prayed that into its place, should everything fall,

Out of sight you went but from my side I didn't let go out of touch,

Seems you have moved on from your end, as much?!

Today, 

I am not even part of those five-hundred odd people of your world; those few!

cause from being 'the one' I belong to that list who 'know' you,

Why can't you see, I am still the same girl, you wanted to be with for good,

I would bring back all that magic, if I could.

After doing all this hope you are happy,
As you think someone better is waiting for you, maybe.
But one day, someday, for sure you will realize it,
As for me, it is the end of life as I know it!

The new me...

I belong to storms and thundering rain,
I love myself in intense pain,
I crush the ones on the ground,
I despise empathy, even its sound!
I hate the lesser mortals- humanity,
The moods I have are beyond sanity!
I stand for malicious darkness,
cause that's the way to survive in this world full of fakeness!
I am no more the one I used to be,
Filled with ruthlessness is the way to be!
Now I know exactly what to do..
for that, all thanks to you!

From 'the one'...to being part of the list..

I am trying to find the right feelings to convey,
what could I possibly do to make you stay.
It is so hard to find the right words,
to make my heart be truly heard.

With one decision, I lost all I had
and I don't even have the right to get mad!??
A decision in which I had no say,
For some moments of happiness, a lifetime I have to pay.

I tried to convince, talk, explain and even fight,
But anything I do is just not right!
For you I am not the me you fell in love with,
And that's why you did what you did.

But you are the you, who had swept me off my feet,
genuine, humble, kind and oh so sweet.
In anger we say all we don't mean...
In my shoes, have you never been?!

I apologize for calling you names
I take back all rudeness and the blames
What could I do, I was in pain
needed to catch your attention at any cost, without shame!

I still believe that you are all I need,
all the roads I can imagine, to you all they lead,
I can be the person you would adore,
Try me, just once more?

Days without you

Every single day
I look at your pictures
I go through the memories
The time spent together
Dream about you
I look though my window towards the road
And see you walking down towards me
I wait for your call, a message
I keep searching for a sign
That you miss me as much I miss you
My brain wants to hate you so much
But I am just not able to, heart says no!
I still long for the time when you would come to me
And all would be okay
I know you won't, or maybe...

Trying.. but just can't!

Another day, another night,
I hug my pillow, without you in sight.
Without a drop of sleep in my eyes,
I lie awake, cursing the goodbyes.
My head spins round and round,
and heart aches to listen to your sound.
I wonder where you are and what you do,
are you happy being lonely,
or do you miss me too?!
Was it so difficult to be with me,
that the pain I am going through,
is something that you can't even see!
You miss me too,
but that could be just my make belief,
something I tell my heart to escape the deep grief...

You are perfect for me...

Love you and miss you... :(