How despicable can we get...!!

When we cheat someone...who are we actually cheating...??This is an important question that one should be asking to the self more often specially in the present times!I agree that in this fast moving world around us, I am talking about the wonderful-corporate-world here, where at every step one is forced to perform to stay in the race, the temptation to deceive may sometime overrule all the moral teachings for a moment.But then is it not our duty to overcome that and controle our minds for that moment!??

One instance:

One fine morning, employees of one of the top MNC are travelling through the Company provided conveyance. The conductor, probably an illeterate, is circulating a sheet of paper around so that the details of the employees availing the facility may be identified and the applicable deductions can be made from the salary.He doesn't know any employee personally,i.e, by names or employee IDs or the likes! Whatever one writes is the Bible for him!Now look at the degree of wickedness-two employees scribble some hypothetical names and IDs just to avoid paying about 500 bucks..!!And mind you they are the ones earning handsome salaries of around 20K..!!We wouldn't mind blowing up 3K to go to a disc or a club just for a night!We will convince ourselves by saying this was a need,there was a need of a nice break, this is not an extravagance...it's a necessity!Why do we behave so irrationally sometimes...??Why do we stoop the the levels where the others might find it difficult to call us 'human'!

A Completely different seen:

One girl about the age of 14yrs has been looking for an averagely build middle aged lady since three days now.The reason- she has to return the fifty paise she borrowed from the lady,one morning!

What a contrast..!!

Actually the question is...HOW this contrast...???

Till later...

Why do u always return.....

Just walkin down this dusty road,

I had a thought striking my mind.

I don't need you to be in my life,

cuz all dat we do is have a strife.

Right when we both are going steadily,

you have to get up and break free.

Whenever we are going strong,

you always manage to break the bond.

An enigma bothering my mind,

why is it me tht you always find,

to break a heart and shatter the dreams,

and then return, saying u r sorry for me.

So why do you always return?

I was the one making the sacrifice,

shunning sanity and nurturing a vice,

of giving you all dat I had,

and standing up to the whole world.

It unleashes the freak in me,

when among everyone you rebuff me.

Whenever you get close to me,

my heart bleeds and Satan reigns supreme.

why do u do the things tht you do,

and keep on comin back to me.

So why do u always return?

This is NOT my composition- but this certainly relates in the most appropriate way right now! Thanks to the one who wrote this.

Help Me...please

What on the earth are we running after? How are we supposed to trust a person? Is everything that we see for real? When can I be sure of anything? Has anyone done anything truly selfless in ones life? Is there anything called love? What does a promise mean? What is the limit of forgiveness?Is there a criteria to evaluate commitment? What should one do about split personalities and sexists? Can the smallest piece of a broken heart be seen from naked eye? Is there a medicine to cure confusion? What is the price of a Dream? How can one be sure who/ what is right for you? Is everything really fair in love and war and if YES then who made this rule? Who makes all the rules anyway? What is the peak of optimism? Why do we really crave for the things that are forbidden? Where is the format button in humans? Is there a hell/ heaven for the 'living-dead'?

:-(

Opportunities come to those who know what they want...

Often we hear people talking about Mr./Ms. Right. But when you ask them to describe this person, we mumble a few adjectives-Understanding, smart, intellectual, luving, caring...And that's the end of the list.

For whatever reasons, we can never have a clear picture of that person in our minds. And that is the reason, mostly, that we are never able to make out even when he is right in front of us.

Having a well-defined list of attributes- for a Mr. Right may sound a little too 'un-romantic' or like a 'job-finder', however, it prepares you for finding him.

Here is a list that is segregated on the criteria- 'Must Haves'-Things that cannot be done without; 'Wish list'- that if there is taken as a bonus; and the 'Knockout Punches' that can lead anyone out of the game-right away.

MUST HAVES:

• Someone smart and intellectually stimulating, who is compatible with me in that- he likes to talk about ideas.
• Someone spiritual or interested in developing himself and a spiritual life.
• A good person with a big heart, who is kind and luving.
• Someone who takes care of his professional and financial life.
• Someone who is committed to the relationship, who is willing to work on it.
• Someone who is supportive of my goals & dreams and can be supportive when I have rough time or a bad day. Some one who is willing to TAKE support from me in return, who won't hide or run away when he needs support.
• Someone who is passionate and has a zest for life.
• Some one who is not fooled by my self-reliance and can see and accept my vulnerability.
• Someone with a strong sense of integrity.

WISH LIST:

• Someone who makes me laugh and has wit.
• Someone who can get along with my friends and my family.
• A good lover who can express himself be it physically or verbally- lovingly with consideration and openness.
• Tall

KNOCK-OUT PUNCHES:

• Someone who is a sexist- thinking it's okay to abuse/hit, taking out the frustration on her.
• Someone who is unwilling to be open and communicative, who withdraws when problems arise, leaving me in the middle of the way.
• Someone who doesn't like my family or whom my familt doesn't like.
• Someone who doesn't value or maintain his friendships.
• Someone I am not attracted to.

Well...that's the list for now...amendments are inevitable...!

Stay Good.

If Luv is a Game, these are the Rules...

• RULE ONE: You must luv yourself first. Your relationship with yourself is the central template from which all others are formed. Loving yourself is a prerequisite to creating a successful and authentic union with another.
• RULE TWO: Partnering is a choice. The choice to be in a relationship is up to you. You have the ability to attract your beloved and cause the relationship you desire to happen.
• RULE THREE: Creating luv is a process. Moving from 'I' to 'WE' requires a shift in perspective and energy. Being an authentic couple is an evolution.
• RULE FOUR: Relationships provide opportunities to grow. Your  relationship will serve as an unofficial 'life-shop' in which you will learn about yourself and how you can grow on your personal path.
• RULE FIVE: Communication is essential. The open exchange of thoughts and feelings is the life blood of your relationship.
• RULE SIX: Negotiation will be required. There will be times when you and your partner must work through impasses. If you do this consciously and with respect, you will learn to create win-win outcomes.
• RULE SEVEN: Your relationship will be challenged by change. Life will present turns in the road. How you maneuver those twists and turns determines the success of your relationship.
• RULE EIGHT: You must nurture the relationship for it to thrive. Treasure your beloved and your relationship will flourish.
• RULE NINE: Renewal is the key to longitivity. Happily ever after means the ability to keep the relationship fresh and vital.
• RULE TEN: You will forget all this the moment you fall in love. You know all these rules inherently. The challenge is to remember them when you fall under the enchanting spell of love...!!!

Till the next post...stay lovely!

Coping with Difficult people...'part two'

Okay...Long time..yeah??

So, as I promised in my last post that now I should talk about how to manage those weired categories of difficult people I mentioned last time.

I hope you still remember the categories...?? Don't worry, even if you don't remember you can always go and check out the last post again. :-)

We will take them one at a time...

Let's start with the Bullies:

"Self- Confidence" is the key.

• Assess the situation
• Stand up for yourself
• Let them run down, i. e., let the bully say what ever they want to say, wait for the moment when they have no more fuel to burn
• Don't make an eye contact with them, distract yourself
• Make them sit down
• Call them by some other name, if you talk to them by their first name call them by their surname or their pet name
• Present your point
• If still they are out of control, wait till they are done and leave
• Come back with a bigger battle to win the war. Only unlucky people have perfect situations

Facing the Snippers:

If you remember, they are the passive aggressives, so:

• Surface their attack
• Openly ask them- "Why are you doing this to me?"
• If you are in a group, take a poll about what opinion the majority has about who is being difficult.

Next, the exploders who are characterized as 'paranoids':

• Ask them to "STOP!!!"
• Ask them " Can you identify what you are talking about??"
• Make them 'THINK"

In line are the not-so-harmful but a could-be-spoil-sport- the complainers:

Quiet often we find ourselves in this what-to-do situation when say 'A' complains to 'B' about 'C'. What should you do?

• Ask them to write down the complain or whatever the trouble is.
• When you listen- listen attentively
• You intiate reasoning

The Super-agreeables:

• Reinforce honesty- complement them when you think they gave their honest opinion and not just agreed for the sake of it
• Be personal with them, i.e., let them say what they want in a group, ask them their opinion a little later again, when no one is around and then make them realise that they should have their honest say in front of everyone too.

When in conversation with a wet-blanket :

• Avoid getting drawn into it
• Stop arguing

And finally- the know-it-alls:

• Make sure you have done your home work throughly
• NEVER compete with them
• Use questions, ask them the hows and the whys and the whos

By the time you reach this part of the post, you are a graduate in handling the difficult people...So congratulations!!! Hoever, if you might not have read carefully let me bring one point to your notice- I said a graduate and not a Master as mastery can come only through practice and experience!

But before you go off, let me give a word of caution- Do not judge people just on one instance.. you may mistake a wet-blanket for a know-it-all or something like that. So before 'coping' first make sure that you have got the right angle or it may back-fire!

And as once my mother told me- ' Excellence has always been achieved by those who dared to believe that something inside them is superior to the circumstances (and not the people)!

Till my next post...Believe in yourself...!!

Coping with DIFFICULT people...

Almost everyday, some point in time, all of us have to cope with difficult people- be it a person younger to you or elder, your boss or a friend, a known or a stranger.And I say that one has to 'cope' as sometimes there is no escaping it.But what does coping mean?coping-in content with- peaceful war of existence.

First of all let's see what are the kinds of difficult people?

Based on the type of behaviour and degree of difficulty to handle them, they can be broadly classified into the following names:

• Bullies


• Snippers


• Exploders


• Complainers


• Super Agreeables


• Wet Blankets


• Know it Alls

Now before you go guessing about these funny and a little too weired names let's get to know them one by one.

Bullies, as you might have guessed from the name, they treaten,frighten or/and scare you. Almost everyone of us might have come accross atleast one of them during our high school days...! They generally have a heavy build- like bulldozers!

Snippers are of the clever category. They can be termed as Passive-agressives. They throw balls at you when you are the weakest. say, when you are in a meeting. they might have some expertise or some knowledge or information that is only known to them. How often has this happened to you that you are in a meeting and you state something that is not complete and there the Snippers will throw questions at you and trying to guess won't be a good idea as they might have the information that they did not share with you outside the meeting-room as they were waiting for the right time.

It is quite difficult to recognize a Snipper as they keep hiding till the 'right time'!

Exploders are paranoids. They just explode! Anytime- Anywhere for no rhyme or reason. (ofcourse, this is the reason why we are talking about them as difficult people). There would be no meaning to what they speak once they are in the mode of-explosion! This is generally due to accumulation of anxiety. They think you are kids.

Now here is one category that the quality control departments of most of the companies would like to employ- the Complainers. They are generally perfectionists. So you are wondering what makes them difficult to handle?? Here is the answer- they abuse human compassion. They would complain just about anything and everything. If it is a cloudy day they'll complain, if it's sunny they'll complain. If there is work they'll complain, if there is no work they'll complain. They may be in the best of environments- they'll complain.

Super-Agreeables- hmmm..now here is a category that most of us would luv to have around us. How many times do we curse the person who cuts our point with something that has more weight. Now imagine if there was no one to contradict you...feels good eh..?? May be NOT! Infact, it is said "If two people in a business agree-there is no need of one of them!" Super-agreeables are self-conscious, uncomfortable, embarrased, insecure people. They would agree to just anything, no matter how silly it might be..!!

How would you feel if you are wrape\ped in a wet blanket? Ya, I can see that face you made! Wet blankets create problems all the time. Everytime you have a great idea, they'll come up with "you know it has already been done in the past...it's not a good one..." this-that what not!

The last but certainly not the least, a category that knows it ALL! From matters related from cooking to rocket-science! You start a talk and they would know all. Or at least the know-it-all have sometime or the other have already experienced the exact situation that you are talking about (and you say of course-history repeats itself). And if not them personally then it's one of their Aunt's colleague's sister-in-law's step-father!! But they know about it!!

Now, you say, such impossible people, how in the world can I even think about coping with them...?!! Well,well...well. As someone said "there is no problem without a solution and if there is then it is not a problem and just a fact that does not need to be solved but coped with." So all these difficult people are not problems but they are there and you are there too and you need to cope with them in order to survive.

Hmm..so how to survive...?? Well, wait for my next post...

Till later

Be good!