क्या करूँ...!

सुना है उन्हे जन्मो के वादे नहीं पसंद,
मै रेत के किले न बनाऊं तो क्या करूँ!

फिर वही मौसम आया है सर्दी का,
मैं ख्वाबे दिल न जलाऊ तो क्या करूँ!

न कोई आहट, न दस्तक, न कोई सुराग है,
यादों से दिल न बहलाऊ तो क्या करूँ!

बीच राह में छोड़ कर उसने मुड़ के भी न देखा,
हर फ़िक्र को धुए में न उडाऊ तो क्या करूँ!

खुश है वो अपने आप में, मेरे बिना,
मैं अपने आंसू न छुपाऊ तो क्या करूँ!

न कोई गुफ्तगू, न एक मुलाकात मुझसे मंज़ूर है,
इस हुक्म को भी सर-आँखों न लगाऊ तो क्या करूँ!

Schizophrenia..

Dear You,

If you’re reading this, then it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it. So, good for me. You don’t know me very well, but if you get me started I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. But this, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. There is no easy way to say this so, I’ll just say it. I met someone... It was an accident. I wasn’t looking for it. It wasn’t in the make. It was the perfect storm. She said one thing and I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.

Now, there’s this feeling in my gut... She might be the one... She’s completely nuts in a way that makes me smile, highly neurotic. A great deal of maintenance required. She is you. That’s the good news. The bad is that I don’t know how to be with you right now, and it scares the shit out of me. Because I have messed up in the past. But if I am not with you right now, I have this feeling that we’ll get lost out there... It’s a big bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment; the moment that could have changed everything! I don’t know what’s going on with us, and I can’t tell you why you should trust a leap of faith on the likes of me, but damn you smell good!! Like home... like that hill-top flower. And you make excellent coffee. That’s gotta count for something, right? Call me.

Unfaithfully yours,
You-Know-Who

Déjà vu

Good morning LA! 
In the land of lotus eaters, time plays tricks on you. One day you are dreaming, the next, your dream has become your reality. It was the best of times, if only someone had told me! Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learnt. He goes on without me. While I drown myself in the sea of pointless recollections. I don't know how I got here. But here I am, rotting away in the warm California Sun. There are things I need to figure out, for their sake at least. The clock is ticking, the gap is widening. They won't always luv me- 'no matter what'.
Later!