Who Knew...

I ran upstairs to my room

He was coming, yes!

Never been this happy!

Oh! The wall paint is wearing off

Fixed it right, painted the whole room light

Clean sheets on the bed

A poster of nine puppies

And then you arrived

Surprised I was- it made me numb

All this while I wanted this all

And now it is here

You took me in your arms and calmed me down

“It happens, sweets.”

And then those words

Which at that time I thought were in a compulsion

And I didn’t want to respond likewise

Standing on the hilltop in the woods

With the Sun so down and all dark

And you standing right behind me

Close enough to hear each other’s heartbeat

And suddenly it was all complete

And today,

You say that we haven’t been able to grow with each other

Suddenly all you can see is pain

Your fears are larger than your love for me

What happened, my dear?

Today, you know I would do it

For your happiness

Wipe it all off- clean slate

But make me believe in this

Like you did it with love- effortlessly

With the meaning of those three words together and that nod

I gave you the power to destroy me

Or to make me the happiest one alive

The choice is yours

And I trust you still

For you are next to Godliness for me

And I know you won’t need reasons

But everything will remind you

Of the hills, the pups, grey skies and craziness

Yes, you can choose not to be with me

But you can’t separate you from me… can u!

Yet, today, I am letting you go...

शायद...

जो चाहो वो मिल ही जाये ये ज़रूरी तो नहीं,

हर रात के बाद सुबह फिर आये ये ज़रूरी तो नहीं|

जो दिखता है वो मुकदर है या कि नहीं,

बूंद होंठो पे गिर के प्यास भी बुझा पाए ये ज़रूरी तो नहीं|

चाँद तारे रोज़ निकलते और दिखते भी हैं,

यूँ ही कभी कोई मिले और अपना बन पाए ज़रूरी तो नहीं|

शमा के इलावा भी सुलगते हैं ग़म ज़माने में,

हर सुलगना रौशनी कर जाये ये ज़रूरी तो नहीं|

- मनु

Please?

I want to be your strength

I want to be the one you can turn to at each bend

I want to be the selfless love you would cherish

I want these feelings to never perish

Can you hold me forever and never let me go

I want to be the one to whom you would never say no

I want to be the one of your guardian angels

I want to have this love without any labels

I want to be with you when you want to be alone

I want to be your haven, your home

I want to understand your deepest fears

I want to be able to wipe off all your tears

I want this all for me

But this can happen if your let us be

Is this asking for too much?

Or you can make this come true as such!

Please? :(

Haven't I...!

Have you held the one you love?

With your whole world in your both hands

What feeling it is, what completeness it creates

Doesn’t matter if the universe may end then

Have you ever been touched?

Sitting somewhere far, alone

With the serenity of a mutual thought

And that want of being together

Have you felt that everything is worthless?

That each day, every moment should fast-forward

To the time when you would be together

Body and soul forever tied together

I have lived through it all

When I cried out tears of blood

And I wasn’t even aware of the reason

To stare into the mirror and curse!

Sands in hands...

There is a test for everything. At each step we get tested. Love, relationships, desires, plans, success, carrier…everything gets tested. And these tests come in the form of hardships in life.

It is not easy to face these hardships or the testing times. Often we give away or give up and might do things that we would regret later when the times cool down. Or we sometimes may have the grace to learn and grow and come out of them with flying colors.

There are numerous possibilities. And things may not make sense at that time. But remember that state is temporary. We need to take a break and stop trying to make sense of that for the moment. Because the time will come itself, and it will come to you itself. The Sun will shine and you will look back and then tiniest of the thing will fall into its place. You’ll realize you were being such a fool in trying to do something that was totally beyond your control.

For now, sit back, don’t run after it. Have faith and rest assured- your time will come. Pray- ask for the strength to be able to avoid doing things that you might repent on later. Don’t judge- anyone, anything.

One can sit in front of the fire and warm their body but what about the coldness inside them! It can only go with the warmth of love. And love will and can only come when you give it. Initially, you may feel that it is going down the drain. But it is no waste. No love is ever a waste, even if not reciprocated. Each and every right thought or action that is filled with love has a reward. It is just a matter of time.

My final day comes. They are here to take me away forever. I can see them. And now I am thinking about things that I should have done but didn’t do.

I did not take him in my arms when he was vomiting blood right in front of my eyes because just moments ago we had fought.

I did not apologize to her when she cooked for me and I left the served plate for the insects because she asked me a question that hurt my ego.

I did not thank them enough, who saved my life; thinking that it was their duty.

I did not appreciate who she was because I was jealous of her being so perfect.

I did not appreciate the gifts that I received, even when they came to me without being asked for.

And now when I want to do it all… it’s over… time’s up.

Love Always...

Like a cool summer shower,

Or that hill top, bright yellow flower,

You came into my life,

Like a bee in its hive.

Your dimpled smile is a lure,

And this wonderful heart so pure,

The horrible PJs that get my face straight,

And that habit of always arriving late.

The made up voice in which you sometimes sing,

The “lady” or “hellos” that you ping,

Always ordering a nine inch Subs,

The transition from pups to cubs.

The constant buzzing of office mails on your phone,

The French goatie that you have grown,

The way you convince me, the way you speak,

Mostly a geek but sometimes a freak!

The way you love, care and pamper,

And when you invade the kitchen and tamper,

You are the King I discovered as a kid,

The snoozing on phone, net and car that you did.

This is to let you know…

I love you every bit and you I adore,

And the least I promise you is my heart and my soul,

Smile, frown, think, tease or just let things be,

Or just do nothing at all…just be with me!

Love Always!