Read Somewhere...

Negative emotions are very addictive. They actually release endorphins into the body which provide a very pleasant sensation. Consider stubbing your toe. Endorphins are also released. The sensation as the pain fades away can be euphoric. As crazy as it sounds this is what is going on with negative emotions. People become addicted to the release of endorphins produced as the negative pain caused by the emotion fades away. They develop a need for negative emotions to get the endorphin payoff. It is exactly like being addicted to a drug.

Free yourself! Live your life to the fullest.. it's the only one you know of.

Be good! Take Care!

Déjà vu

Good morning LA! 
In the land of lotus eaters, time plays tricks on you. One day you are dreaming, the next, your dream has become your reality. It was the best of times, if only someone had told me! Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learnt. He goes on without me. While I drown myself in the sea of pointless recollections. I don't know how I got here. But here I am, rotting away in the warm California Sun. There are things I need to figure out, for their sake at least. The clock is ticking, the gap is widening. They won't always luv me- 'no matter what'.
Later!

I hate love!

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it (or maybe they did!). They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, (or say something like- You mesmerize me baby!) and then your life isn't your own anymore. 


Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' (or 'break free!') turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love!




Neil Gaiman

Forgiveness

You cannot go around and keep a score. If you keep a score on the good things and the bad things, you'll find out that you're a very miserable person. God gave man the ability to forget, which is one of the greatest attributes you have. Because if you remember everything that's happened to you, you generally remember that which is the most unfortunate!


Today-a quarter ago.

Extreme emotions

Hot tears roll from the sides of my eyes and down my plumped cheeks, which ache from smiling and I squeeze them with my hand to stop. It occurs to me how close happiness and sadness are. So closely knitted together. Such thin line, a thread-like divide that in the midst of emotions, it trembles, blurring the territory of exact opposites. The moment is minute, like the thin thread of a spider's web that quivers under a raindrop. Here in my moment of unstoppable cheek and stomach aching laughter, as my body rolls around, my stomach clenched, all the muscles taut, my body jumps about, is racked by emotion and therefore steps ever so slightly over the mark, and into sadness. Tears of sadness gush down my cheeks as my stomach continues to shake and ache with happiness.

How quickly a moment of love was snapped away to a moment of hate. One comment to steal it all away. Of how love and war stand upon the very same foundation. How in the darkest moments, my most fearful times, when faced, became my bravest. When feeling at your weakest, you end up showing more strength, when at your lowest are suddenly lifted higher than you've ever been.

They all border one another, those opposites, and how quickly we can be altered. Despair can be altered by one simple smile offered by a stranger; confidence can become fear by the arrival of one uneasy presence; a waver on a balance beam can turn excitement into pain, in an instant. Everything is on the verge, always brimming the surface, a slight shake, a tremble sends things toppling. How similar emotions are.

How quickly such comfort with someone can shift to awkwardness. How in the very second you reach a dead end, moments when you are convinced you know exactly where you are going are altered. A realization in less than a second. A flicker and the light becomes pitch black.

I continue to stare at the ceiling, feeling lost again when only moments ago I'd been found. My answers of only minutes ago are again transformed into questions.

A veil hangs between the two opposites, a mere slip of a thing that is transparent to warn us or comfort us. You hate now but look through this veil and see possibility of love; you are sad now but look through to the other side and see happiness. Absolute composure to a complete mess- it happens so quickly, all in the blink of an eye.

Thanks for the memories 
-Cecelia Ahern 

Worthless?

"And think not, you can direct the course of love; for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course". 


 Khalil Gibran

The new me...

I belong to storms and thundering rain,
I love myself in intense pain,
I crush the ones on the ground,
I despise empathy, even its sound!
I hate the lesser mortals- humanity,
The moods I have are beyond sanity!
I stand for malicious darkness,
cause that's the way to survive in this world full of fakeness!
I am no more the one I used to be,
Filled with ruthlessness is the way to be!
Now I know exactly what to do..
for that, all thanks to you!

You make me hate love

Long walks in the woods

Cute pups on the roads

Forts and castles with their majestic aura

John Lennon’s - Stand By Me

Colored glittery bangles

Slow sweet dancing

Dimpled smiling cheeks

And that fat old Santa Clause

Grey skies or rainy evenings

Umbrellas with kitty faces

Long brunette shiny hair

Movies with happy endings

Hot coffee with caramel topping

Cubs with small mustaches

Drums or anything to do with thumping

Mirrors on bed-sides

Flowers, chocolates, candles, babies, bonfires

Commitment, care, pampering

Thoughts, world, life, me and much more

You make me hate them all!